Q: Why did the computational knowledge engine cross the road?
A: To learn some better jokes.

Wolfram|Alpha's knowledge about the world is constantly growing, and it wants to grow its sense of humor too. But what do humans find funny? Wolfram|Alpha needs your help to figure that out...

Pick a question and give the wittiest answer you can...

How should I take my coffee?

How do I survive a zombie attack?

What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?

Can anarchy be organized?

What do you do when you're bored?

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

What is this world to me, even if I can have it?

Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow?

Who should rule the Seven Kingdoms?


... for contributing to the humor corpus of the world! May your words entertain generations of AIs... as well as humans.

We'll email you when Wolfram|Alpha chooses a favorite answer. In the meantime, share this site with friends and family.

Note: You can send another answer for the same question if you want.

Formal Submission Policy

Thank you for contributing your work (the "Submission") to the Wolfram|Alpha Humor Project ("the Project").

By submitting material, you represent that you are the sole owner or otherwise have the legal rights of all rights in the Submission. You retain ownership and copyright in the Submission. You understand and acknowledge that the Submission shall become part of a database, and that Wolfram|Alpha will own the compilation copyright in that database.

Further, you grant Wolfram|Alpha a perpetual, worldwide, irrevocable, sublicensable, exclusive license to use, reproduce, adapt, modify, publish, translate, publicly present, publicly display and distribute your Submission (including any portion or derivative thereof) in any form and by any means for any purpose whatsoever.

Neither Wolfram|Alpha nor any third party using your Submission in accordance with this policy will be obligated to pay you any royalties or other compensation.

You understand that your Submission may or may not appear in the Project, now or in the future.